He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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