Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
