i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i out mim tonsoeep
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