All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize