when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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