turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
