STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize