Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
