I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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