it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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