My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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