hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
