I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I AM VODKA MAN
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
