Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize