we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Panties = found
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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