AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
