i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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