capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize