I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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