are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
