oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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