Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
