your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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