my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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