why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
