so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
