No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
