Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
