i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
