why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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