I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
