thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
