I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
how does that bad decision feel?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
