It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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