SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
