got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
