I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
