My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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