I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
