At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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