Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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