yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
