Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
