I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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