I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.