this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
