I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
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I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...