I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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