I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
