I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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