i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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