I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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