There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
