The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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