oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
