booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
