I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
