angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
