Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
how does that bad decision feel?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
