she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
