I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that's an acceptable place to lick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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