Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
