I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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