So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
