i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
