Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
