This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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