Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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