I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
operation have a gay friend backfired
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
